Victor and I were married in 2005 and our amazing boys came in 2010. We both worked in Graphic and Interaction design full-time before the boys joined our wolf pack. Victor works full time with a 40 minute commute each way and I stay home with the boys, run SO Awesome, and work to be there for my hubby when he gets home at the end of a long day.
I asked Victor to write about juggling fatherhood and work for our blog:
Victor Sirotek, Contributor, writes:
Working full time and being a dad is a tough balancing act to perform. My boys are the coolest people I know and I only get to see them for 2 hours a day. Every morning they beg me to stay and it is hard to transition from that life to my work life. Every morning I struggle to reconcile the shift and move into the work that I need to do all day.
During the day my wife does an incredible job of providing them with a nurturing environment, challenging their growing minds, and making sure they have tons of fun and feel loved. I see glimpses of it through Instagram, Facebook posts, and the occasional texted video of my boys telling me that they miss me. It feels like I am watching two people that I love more than anything grow up without me sometimes.
When I am around I usually feel so tired that the best I can muster is cuddle time. Believe me, I wouldn’t trade cuddle time for anything but I really want to experience more with my children. They adore me and love to know about what I am interested in and what I do. Finding the energy to provide them with more of myself is often very hard.
Dinner time is usually our catch-up time during the week. We sit and eat all together at the dinner table and it's fantastic. I get to hear about their Lego work, what they did that day and how they're feeling. Sharing stories is one of their favorite things.
Usually once or twice a week we have “boy’s night” where I take care of the boys, we have dinner, and we watch a movie. This usually is a giant cuddle fest and the boys love it. I like “boys night” but want more.
Marie-Claire and I have been talking about ways that I can be more involved with the boys and give them more physical play time as well as away time. Give them the interactions I never had with my dad, and give them tools for handling their developing emotions.
The other day we did something great. Usually we try to keep the boys from rough-housing because we worry that that sort of aggression isn’t healthy. We’ve been doing some reading and research and are starting to think the opposite. It can be constructive.
So we laid out a blanket and did some wrestling, sock grabbing, tumbling, and airplane fun with the boys.
They loved it. I loved it. In the end we were all sweaty and tired. We were also really relaxed and cuddly. Cuddle time is a lot better when it is earned.
We’ve also made it a habit to go to free Tuesday evening concerts at Frederick Meijer Gardens. This gives us a chance to walk around, enjoy music, and stay out late with the boys. Every time we do it it is a really special time.
I don’t have a solution for feeling like I am not involved enough in my kids lives. What I can do is make the time I have as awesome as possible. With the help of my wife nudging me along, we are finding some really fun activities that make the bond I have with Owen and Silas even stronger.
You get out what you put it. And I'm putting in all I can the minute I get home.
- Victor, Papa.
Thank you for writing and sharing with us babe. I love you, you're a great Papa.
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